Pussy Massage is the best thing ever...

Pussy massage is absolutely one of the most powerful things I have ever given or received.

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It feels amazing.

Afterwards, I feel like the truest, most vibrant, most sparkly sassy wild free version of myself, while also feeling damn sexy.

For women in particular, our society has made it imperative that a woman be disconnected from her vagina.

What would the world be like if women walked around with SENSATION in her vagina, and FELT her connection to her pussy every day?

The world would be alive in sensitivity, power, and pleasure!

So many women blame themselves that they aren’t sexual enough, they have the wrong lover, they are too old, or have hormonal issues,, when really, it is disconnection from the vagina that is at the root!

The pussy and the heart are also deeply connected. This practice not only opens up your pussy to sensation, but also, your heart.

The first time we did a pussy massage ritual, my husband massaged my pussy for almost an hour! I definitely went to another realm.

 

 my husband and I after pussy massage.. we happy and connected.

my husband and I after pussy massage.. we happy and connected.

It took some time, but I allowed him to really FEEL me, in ways that I knew, on some level, I was resistant to.

 

As he massaged, and asked me how I liked it, our communication upleveled, everything got sparkly, and my neck released in a way that I felt I was a liquid, melty, crystal on the bed.

 

I felt more agile and lighter in my body as he deeply penetrated me with his hands and fingers and encouraged me to release any sounds that were coming up.

 

 

The magic really got psychedelic as he affirmed how my pussy looked. It was almost the most powerful part of the massage!

 

I realized how deeply I needed to feel seen, and after years of fights with family, lovers, and friends where I had yelled that (why don't you SEE me?!), or times I had written it in my journal, I didn’t realize it was my PUSSY that needed to be seen and acknowledged!

 

He spoke gently in descriptive language about how it was pink in one spot, that it was starting to glisten, and as he gently stroked my pubic hair, he remarked on how soft and bouncy my mons felt.

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EVERY time he verbally affirmed my pussy, and just plain noticed how she looked, I got freer in my orgasm, my desire, and my voice. My thighs felt creamy and soft. I OPENED.

 

He also encouraged me to just feel. As he went closer to my g spot and cervix, I released so much sound and breath.

Who knew how much I was holding in my cervix?!?!

It truly felt intense the tension that was stored and started melting away.

He got so deep and everything got really thumpy and juicy around me.

He asked if I wanted to have an orgasm, and I did, so I said yes and I was able to ejaculate over and over again like huge heaves of relief coming out of my body.

Afterwards, I felt like I was a truer version of myself. The real one, the deepest one. The playful, vibrant, confident one.

Also, many aches and pains throughout my body had disappeared. For the next week or so, my digestion was better than it had been in years, my voice strong.

I was in love with myself! It felt like the sweetest love.

That is not to say there weren’t some bumps on the road. This ritual is one to help you release energy, and remember your power, but it also releases layers of conditioning and stored traumas, disappointments, and shut-downs. Since we have practiced, I’ve found deep pain, crying, and shouting to come out regularly. I’m not afraid of these deep emotions, and I encourage you, if you practice pussy massage, to let them come and go just like the rise and fall of a breath.

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When the big feelings come, I breathe, sound, or scream, perhaps I need my husband to stop for a moment and hold me. Whatever comes up, I hold with complete compassion. Compassion for myself and my big bold body of feeling, my pussy, the life i’ve led.

Its all stored in my pussy it seems! With this compassion, I can transmute it into more space. Give it attention, hold it with love, and let it go.

Are you ready to try pussy massage with yourself or a lover? Feel free to follow the steps below and see if it doesn't make you feel absolutely incredible in body, mind, and spirit...

PUSSY MASSAGE RITUAL:

  1. Make sure you have an oil that feels comfortable on the skin. Shadow pussy anointing oil, mixed with some coconut, sesame, or grapeseed oil, feels amazing and relaxes the organs.

  2. Set a space up for your massage however you know your partner likes it best! Think about comfort: pillows, a towel underneath for the oil and in case she ejaculates, and anything else that makes you both feel magical- candles, smudging, etc. Place a pillow underneath her sacrum, in order to elevate her pussy and relax her lower back. Put on some music that you love if that calls to you, and set a timer for 60 minutes. Position yourself comfortably between her legs or on one side of her body so that you can comfortably touch her pussy for a while- you can also sit on a chair at the edge of a bed and position her around you, or place a pillow underneath you and put your legs over or under hers while facing her... there are many positions and they change depending on your body. Your comfort is important too, and she will feel it, so get yourself feeling good too.

  3. Think about the quality of touch before you begin. Make sure to ask your partner throughout the massage HOW they like to be touched. This is a great intimacy practice that can bring you a lot closer. Stay present with your touch, your partner can feel if your attention is wandering or you are in your head. If you start disconnecting, bring yourself back to your breath, and focus on the sensations in your hands.

  4. THIS MASSAGE IS POWERFUL! Have compassion for her before you begin. This massage has the ability to dislodge longheld traumas, negative sexual beliefs and conditioning... but it can also be incredibly psychedelic, induce trance states, bring intimate connections, introduce her to levels of pleasure she hasn't ever felt, and allow her to be able to be fully present with who she is! Too many women have been incredibly pressured in their sexuality, myself included! This massage is a no-pressure experience for her- she doesn't need to feel, act, or do anything. THIS is one of the most powerful pieces of this massage. Give her time to let her truly sink into her pussy and her body while you set up the space. Remind her with your words that this is about her experiencing anything that she needs to, she does not need to have an orgasm, and remind her how much you care, and that this is not about you, its about her.

  5. Start  S  L  O  W  by warming up your partner, begin by looking in your partners eyes, with your hands over her heart, and telling her you will start the massage. With some oil mixture, start strokes up and down her upper inner thighs. You can gently stroke her hair, her belly, and bring a gentle attention to her body. Ask her how the pressure is and remember to encourage her to breathe, and remember to breathe yourself.

  6. Move into stroking her in a luscious way. You can start by rubbing your palms around her vulva, circling with gentle pressure or deeper touch. Bring these circles out to her inner thighs and continue focusing on your touch and her skin. Go up to her hips, and massage around the hips and hipbones and down around the cheeks, back down to her vulva. Experiment and stay present, and feel how good it can feel to both of you let her receive. 

  7. There are a variety of strokes you can start experimenting with here! Be sure to have enough oil... you can play with bringing your whole hand in the crease of her hips and all the way down over her vulva, very slowly, like you are deliciously petting her, and repeat with the other hand over and over. You can also bring your palm onto her mons, above her clitoral glands, and slowly draw circles over her, relaxing and releasing and feeling her. Play with different stokes for at least 10 minutes of the massage.

  8. Women often need to go through waves and peaks and valleys of feeling before opening to penetration. The next step is to ask if she wants to be penetrated with your fingers. The key is to ask, and move forward lovingly with whatever she wants. If its a no, and she doesn't want penetration, return to stroking her as you were in the last step, and continue checking in with her on pressure, and breath. Respect her that she may just need to build up turn on or feel stroked externally without penetration. If she says yes to penetration, you can slowly begin to slide your fingers inside, going VERY VERY slowly, in and out of her entrance. You can feel into her about an inch or two inside, and build up the sensations inside of her vagina for a while. With the other hand, you can keep pressure over her mound, or stroke in circles like you did in the last step to stimulate her clitoris and vulva. This should feel delicious and incredibly relaxing. Encourage her to sound if she needs to release pressure through her throat! To breath as you penetrate, or to sigh. The feeling here is to remain connected, hold space for anything that may come up (holding space means being present to her emotions without judgement), and play! Remember there is no pressure for her to have an orgasm, and continue holding that intention for the massage.  

  9. The next step is where I went into a trance state and released lots of emotions. Its Pussy acupressure, or g spot release, and it feels really activating! As you have your fingers inside of her, about to the level of her g spot, you can gently start light pressure up into her vaginal wall where you have been stroking, and encourage her to breathe into where you are pressing. Just like a massage on the rest of your body, these points can hold tension and story, but they have been hidden from us. Unlocking them can feel really really big. If she has a healing experience- meaning big emotions come up- tears, fear, or anger/screaming, encourage her to release and breathe. This could also be a moment where she feels totally shut down, or starts feeling irritated or crabby with you. I know for me I had a moment of disconnection with my body. My husband slowed down and told me he was right there for me, and that he loved me. He verbally encouraged me that he wasn't going anywhere and that I couldn't scare him. That was enough for me to get back into my body and feel. This spot can also be the gateway to a deep, lusty feeling of orgasm and pleasure, where your pussy almost begs for more and more! If that is the case (and it can of course be a mix of the two in any moment) communicate with her and move into some of her favorite vaginal strokes to bring her into deeper and deeper orgasmic feeling. If she wants to have an orgasm, feel free to move into that together, and remind her that she doesn't need to do anything if she doesn't want to.. you will still stroke her and play, or hold her if she is done. 

  10. Women's bodies have been used for hundreds of years... this massage is about no pressure to conform, to perform, or to be anything to anyone. She needs to TAKE IN pleasure and inhabit her pleasure, which is both freeing and can be totally scary, like the floor gave way from under you. This is her releasing her patriarchal conditioning, and its the most beautiful thing to witness. Believe in her and be present and slow with this process. 

  11. To end the massage, cuddle her or let her lie by herself for a while, and bring integration to the massage by letting her share with you what came up verbally if she wants to. If you want to make love, it feels really good to move into that after properly integrating, just to make sure she doesn't feel any pressure that she has to do anything as part of the pussy massage, and to keep it feeling sacred and give it a container. 

Thats it! Its such a powerful practice that I could write for hours about, with many many strokes and techniques that have so much to add, but this is how I learned it and the most distilled version so that you can home play yourself or with a partner. 

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If you want to practice solo, It feels good to follow all steps as written above, and think about it like a special time just for yourself. If you use a vibrator or dildo, you can bring that into the penetrative part of the massage, but try as much as possible to bring presence into your practice. A crystal wand works really well here as it provides grounding and weight during the massage. Sometimes a vibrator can be too stimulating and get you going too fast. Also some women really depend on their vibrators. Which is not a bad thing at all! But in this practice you are re-sensitizing yourself to your pussy in a way and often a tried and true vibrator or stroke can give it a goal, whereas we want it to feel goalless and exploratory. 

I trust you will find a delicious way to practice this ritual!

As always, reach out to me with any questions or to celebrate any part of you trying this ritual! It takes courage, and I believe in your freedom and your pleasure. 

xo, lydia rose

 

 

Lydia Rose Dolan